New addition :)

One the Sunday only a few days before leaving for Idaho to visit my big sister and her family, we had to put our baby Zero to sleep. He had been spiraling down in the last year, with repeated UTIs and Stones in his bladder, and we had reached a point where he was in enough pain it would have been selfish to keep him.

So we went to Idaho and had a wonderful time with the family, posts on that coming soon! When we got back though the balance in the house felt off, there was something missing. So that next day I went looking at shelters for our next addition. I found Kleo at an animal control in the next city over, she made an impression on me from the start. She was playful but very sweet and was such a pretty little girl. It was decided, we would adopt her and give her a good home. I named her Kleo (aka Kleopatra).

James is already such an animal lover he loves his kitties so much. He giggles and smiles at them, chases them down and tries to 'pet' them lol.

I really believe having animals is special to have in a home :)

Almost a Year!

It's so crazy to me, that Josh and I are going on a year being married. In only a few days, it'll be official. I have to say that I couldn't be happier. I have such a wonderful, loving husband. He's my rock, he's my world, he's my everything. A year ago as of Sunday the 5th, will mark the day that Josh and I decided to spend the rest of forever with each other. Our wedding was absolutely beautiful, and I am forever grateful to his parents for making that happen. If it hadn't been for them, I would have had a 2 minute wedding in front of a judge! Instead, I got to wear a beautiful white dress, Josh's mother did my hair, and I walked down the aisle to meet the man of my dreams at the alter. We were married, and a few months later we welcomed our first little one, James.

Josh and I had been talking about marriage for about a month before we found out we were pregnant. We have always been very open with each other, and had made a point to discuss situations that might arise in our relationship. From the start I told him, "If we get pregnant, I won't marry you just because I'm going to have your baby." It was important to me that we married for more than just a baby. I wanted to marry him for the love we shared, and the future we could create with each other. People who get married just because they're pregnant, is dumb to me. Yes, I believe its great to have a 'family' image for your baby. But you don't have to get married to do that.

When Josh and I found out we were pregnant, right before Christmas in 2010, we realized our relationship was headed into a long term place faster than we had anticipated. But just like always, we took it with stride. We talked for about a week or two about what was the best decision. At the time I was still using my mom's health insurance, and our first baby doctor appointment was a financial wake up call. To have a baby in a civillian (non military) hospital, along with all the baby visits before hand can cost anywhere from $3000 to $5000 dollars. Thats nuts!

Josh had just gotten out of the army, but he was retired, so he still got to keep his Tricare (military health insurance). It was at this time that Josh and I made a very grown up decision. We knew we didn't have to get married, but financially it would benefit us. We were already planning on getting married, we just weren't going to get married so soon. The baby just spend things up :P

So we got married, we had our little one. And we are such a wonderful family. I love my husband more than words can describe, and I love our baby boy even more. A family is a wonderful experience and blessing. I'm not a believer in God, and I'm not religious at all, but if anything could make someone wonder if there might be a higher power, it's giving birth. The incredible way my body can create and put together such a perfect little person is awe inspiring for sure.

Two years ago when I graduated high school, I didn't know where my life was headed. I wasn't really set on college, but I was going to go to community college because there was nothing else for me to do. I had no plans to live anywhere else to live but my mothers house, and I was miserable.

My big brother and his wife at the time came down for my graduation, and on a whim they asked me to come to San Antonio for a few days afterwards to visit. I jumped at the opportunity, and those few days is when I met Josh. From there, my brother asked me to come live with him to get out of my mom's house. I could live with him, work and figure out school. It wasn't a hard decision, and I honestly didn't even think long about it. All I knew, is that I had to get out of my mom's house. I was being suffocated there.

So I moved to San Antonio, and my future flashed before my eyes. My future was Josh, everything I needed, everything I could become was through him. He was the future I couldn't see before because I hadn't found him yet. In high school I could never picture my future. I couldn't see myself getting married, having kids or even going to college and having a career. Suddenly, meeting Josh and coming to love him, I saw a future that I wanted.

I would do it all again :)

I've never loved any one more. This love makes all the other times I thought I was in love look like puppy love, or infatuation. This is real love. This is love for the rest of my life and beyond. <3

Ate Green Beans & Like It!

Over the past month or so I have been periodically introducing baby food into James's diet. We took a little break from it over Christmas and New Years, but now we're back in gear! Today while we were enjoying a wonderful visit from Grandma and Grandpa, we tried some green beans for the second day. And today, maybe it was just showing off for Grandma and Grandpa, but James actually liked it! He was opening his mouth after swallowing every bite and wanting more. It was wonderful, and messy!

It's Been 5 Months Already

Today my little bundle of joy, is officially 5 months old. It's so hard for me to believe that it's been 5 months already. It feels like only yesterday he was just starting to smile, or just discovering his hands. And now our little one is grabbing toys all by himself and learning all about cause and effect. James has learned to pull his toy on his rocker recently to make it play If You're Happy and You Know it, well Josh also put on there his lion that makes jungle sounds. James has discovered he can pull them both at the same time, with one in each hand. It's quite an obnoxious orchestra to hear repeatedly, but James loves it.

James is growing so fast, he's become so much more interactive with his toys, simply over the matter of a few weeks. And in a matter of only a few more weeks I suspect we will have a very mobile baby. He's definitely going to have Josh and I on our toes.

Last night there was a beautiful sunset, and I just had to take pictures. I don't seem many gorgeous sunsets in Texas, like I did in Idaho. Texas sunsets will never beat the sunsetting in the mountains, but last night it came pretty close.

High School Is Over

Over the past few weeks I have slowly been coming to a realization that I'm not too pleased with. High School friendships just don't seem to last. It's true about the whole quote: 

"Some people are meant to stay in your life while others are just meant to make an appearance."

It's been almost 2 years since I graduated high school, and over those two years I have stopped talking to more and more people I knew when I was still in school. It was easy to make friends in high school, and it was also easy to be friends with just about anyone. After high school, especially because I didn't rush off to college, I haven't had much opportunity to make new friends. And I've never been incredibly good at makes friends to begin with. Well here I am, now almost 20 years old, and realizing, I don't really have any friends anymore. I have family, which is wonderful and great, but no friends. I have a few people that pop in everyone once in a while to see how I'm doing, but no one that really cares about whats going on in my day to day life. I'm not going to lie, I miss having a best friend, someone who would call me anytime they had some juicy news, or just needed someone to help them figure out what color to dye their hair. 

This is why yesterday, after finally deciding maybe it's time to move on, I deactivated my facebook account. Facebook makes it too easy, it takes all the effort out of being a friend. You don't have to remember their birthday, Facebook does it for you. You don't have to call them or text them to see whats going on in their life, it pops up in your news feed. So I got rid of mine. Now if someone really, sincerely, wants to be my friend, they're going to have to put effort into it. Like call me, or text me, and they're going to have to actually talk to me in order to find out whats going on in my life. And you know what, that talking might take an hour, but in return I'm going to ask them whats going on in their life, and actually listen. Because I care. Sometimes I think I care too much... 

I'm done trying to be someone's friend when I'm the only one who makes the effort. Friendships can't be one sided, just like a relationship can't be. I'm not going to make someone a priority in my life if I'm only a convenient option when the mood suits them.

I have a wonderful family, a loving husband and a beautiful son. I will be just fine. And I'm past the point of needing more than that to make me truly happy. 

Like I said, High School is over. If you want to keep friends, you have to try at it. But if they don't try back, then its just not meant to be. 

Not to mention, I spent WAY too much time on facebook, trolling other people's lives. Constantly looking at other people's lives is not the way to live. So I'm going to focus on my life, and how wonderful it is. I am one lucky woman, and I couldn't ask for a better life.

I took my situation from my home life, and I walked away, I bettered myself. I made myself happy. And once again, that's what I am doing. Walking away, to make myself happier. Because dwelling on the past isn't going to get me anywhere.

Nerds & Turds

Catchy title don't you think? I sure though so. Although its more about us being nerds than poo. Although let me tell you, there is plenty of poo to go around if anyone wants any.

So James is now almost 5 months old, he'll be 5 months in about a week. I can't believe that he's already almost halfway through his first year. He's getting so big too! Last weekend he had his very first head cold, and him and me both are still getting rid of the reminisce. We took him to the doctor right after we realized he had caught something (probably from all the family he was passed around to on Christmas), we also wanted to make sure the there was no threat of RSV, which can be extremely dangerous for babies under 6 months to get. Luckily, there were no signs that worried the doctors, and they told us a little saline in his nose and a bulb syringe to clean out his snot was about all we could do. We went and bought a humidifier for his room, so he'd be able to sleep a little better too. While we were at the doctor they did their usual naked weight, and our little chunky monkey now weighs 16.4 lbs! Good grief, at this rate, he'll be outgrowing the weight limit on his carseat by next month. He's such a happy baby though, all smiles and giggles. He now drinks 6 ounces of formula with a tablespoon of cereal in it every 4 to 5 hours. He is sleeping 12 hours at night, from 8 to 8. It's wonderful. And in the mornings I love going to get him, because he wakes up and starts talking to himself and eating his hands. And I get up, make his bottle, grab his reflux medicine, and then go in there to open the blinds and turn off his white noise. And the first thing he does when he sees me is smile a big old grin! Sure warms my heart and make it exciting to wake up every morning just to see my little boys handsome face.

He's an angel when sleeping. Love this boy so much!

We had a wonderful Christmas this year, it was great sharing it with family. James got totally spoiled! But he's too young to know it, so it's okay. We spent the weekend in Austin with Josh's parents. I absolutely love spending time with them, we always have such a good time, and James absolutely adores his Gran and Grandpa. I was really excited, because this year Tami (Josh's mom), helped me make Christmas sugar cookies! I got to cut them out and frost them, and thats something I haven't done since I was a little girl. I can't wait till next year, we're going to make gingerbread houses, which is something else I haven't done since I was little. We were going to read James "The Night Before Christmas" before he went to bed on Christmas Eve, because we want to make that a tradition, but the poor guy was so tired! So we ended up having to skip it. But we'll definitely do it next year.

Mommy & James on Christmas Eve

Christmas morning opening presents

The 3 of us, in our PJs!

Love my family <3

James got so much cool stuff!

Daddy & Son

Such a handsome boy :D

I feel so lucky to have such a wonderful family. James is such a good baby, and I love that kid to pieces. I never knew what it was like to love someone so much I would jump in front of a bullet for them, and now I do. I'd do anything for my little man. He warms my heart and brightens my day every day. Motherhood is a beautiful and rewarding thing. I couldn't imagine ever doing anything to hurt my baby. I am so blessed to know that James has a wonderful daddy and loving grandparents. He has everything I never had, and I am excited that I can give him that and more. He's such a lucky little boy, and I am a lucky woman to have him as my son. 

On another note, Josh and I decided to turn our office into a play room. Our house just isn't big enough for all of James's toys to be scattered, it makes it feel very cluttered. So after seeing his big sister's playroom for Olivia, it was decided. So we had to have AT&T come out and move our internet to our bedroom so that we could still do our online gaming, and then yesterday I set about moving all our office stuff in. I must say, I love the new setup. Though I'm super sore today from all the physical activity :P

 It's very nerdy, as you can see. Josh loves that he now has his own little corner. I have yet to move all my books in, that's my project for today. I'm hoping they all fit, I got rid of a good number, but then I eliminated one of my book shelves, so cross your fingers that they will all fit! Its funny that there is so much stuff in our room now, yet it still feels bigger than it used to. We moved the bed to a different wall, and it was like we magically had room for so many activities! LOL. I guess the way the room is designed the bed is supposed to go on the wall with the two outlets that are so conveniently placed a queen size bed apart ;)

I feel so lucky to have a house, Josh and I are still so young, yet we have a house, and I am able to stay at home and be a mother to our baby. I love it so completely. At first it was hard to adjust to being the house mom, but now I actually get a great amount of satisfaction out of cleaning it up and reorganizing it and taking care of our little boy. I never used to see myself as the house mom type, but now I think when the time comes for me to go back to school, it'll be tough for me to do so.

Well thats all for now, I'm tired of typing. But I think I caught you all up to speed. I'm such a slacker at blogging :P I'd say I'll try to post more, but it most likely won't happen so I won't promise that. Ta Ta For now!

The Past 3 Months

So much has happened in the past 3 months, and I have been a terrible blogger about it :P So I'm here now to update you!

James is not 3 months and 3 weeks old, he'll be 4 months this coming Saturday. Boy does time fly.
Over the past 3 months, James has learned to smile, and there rarely isn't a smile on his cute little face. He recently learned to giggle, and it's probably the most infectious sound in the world. He's gotten quite a bit bigger as well since he exited my womb. He now weighs about 14 or 15 pounds. And he's around 24 or 25 inches long. He goes in for his 4 month check up in a week or two and I'll get the definite then. He gets the hiccups all the time, just like his mommy. He doesn't mind them at first but after 20 minutes with them he starts to get mad which results in fussiness. He loves to sit on mommy or daddy's lap and watch what ever we're doing, whether its tv, or the computer. He is a food machine, eating about every 2 hours, and eating 4 to 6 ounces every time. He is such a good sleeper though, sleeping 8 to 9 hours at night. However, he's still being swaddled so once we stop swaddling him in the next couple weeks his sleeping might change until he gets used to having his arms free. I absolutely love this kid to death, I would do anything for him. I never imagined I could whole heartedly love someone so much, even more than I love Josh ;) It's a different kind of love though. My little chunk is such a bundle of happiness, but he's growing so fast! I wish it would slow down just a little. He's already sleeping in 6 month footy pajamas.

My little monster loves to cuddle, and I am sure taking advantage of it now, because in a while he won't want to cuddle he'll want to play. He's my nap buddy, I don't get naps usually, so sometimes when he really needs a nap I'll take him to my bed and we'll snuggle up together and he'll fall right to sleep. He sleeps in his own bed at night though, there just isn't enough room for 3 people in our bed at night ;)

We recently had the pleasure of having my big brother Matt home to our house from Afghanistan. He spent two weeks with us, and it was great but it was also crazy. My brother is at a whole different speed than me, I'm a chill little homebody, and he's a "lets drink and barbecue and invite people over"- butterfly type person. While he was here we had lots of barbecues and lots of fun. But by the end of the two weeks I was exhausted! It was great though, he got to spend Thanksgiving with us. For Thanksgiving we went and spent it with Josh's family. We had two Thanksgivings in one day, one was at Josh's sister Chelsea's house with her in-laws and the other one was at a family friend's house where it was a little more chill. James by the end though was so exhausted from being overstimulated. When we got home from Austin after those few days, James literally slept the whole next day. Poor guy was so tired.

There is probably a lot more I'm missing from the past 3 months, but for now this will have to do. I'll come back and think of more I'm sure of it. For now though, that's the update.

Stay tuned :)